The Enchanted Self — by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

TIMES I STILL TREASURE – Part 1 of 2

A feeling of security came from having a loving mother waiting for me with a wholesome lunch when I came home from school at noon. She also was always there after school to hear about my day. I had a good foundation helping me to feel secure.

My parents loved me very much. I felt a close attachment to my devoted mother. I could not imagine my life without her, but I was also close to my father. He tended to spend more time with my two older brothers, taking them to sports events and talking about baseball and prize fighting, but this was to be expected. He did favor me in some ways. He was more affectionate with me than with the boys. I never remember him hitting me, and I know I was no little angel. I also know I became an expert at whining when I wanted to get my way.

One day I was being fresh, and he raised his hand as though to strike me. I, not the artful dodger, moved to avoid a smack and struck my head on the door. Immediately a large colorful egg appeared. He was remorseful and begged me to forgive him. I reveled in the attention given to me and thought it was worth a lump on the head.

If Dad were ill, I worried. But when my mother needed surgery, I was anxious and frightened. Fortunately, she had a wonderful, compassionate sister, my Aunt Blanche, who pitched in to help when needed. She was married to an equally wonderful person, my Uncle Hillel. He never complained when she came to help us. He’d come for dinner, and we all loved to hear him play the piano. He was gifted and played entirely by ear. Sometimes he took me on the swan boat rides in Boston’s Public Gardens. He was a kind, sweet person, who made me feel special. I truly think he helped stir up my Enchanted Self, as young as I was—nine years old.

Mother and I enjoyed good times by ourselves. We’d go downtown to Boston on the trolley. One vivid memory was when we were in the lingerie department. We heard screams for help coming from the nearby dressing room. An obese woman had gotten her flesh caught in the zipper of a corset. She was slightly injured but more shaken up. I told my mother I’d never wear such a contraption, and I never did.

After shopping, we went to the Georgian Cafeteria. That was, to me, a fairyland of food delights. How important I felt to be able to choose what I wanted. But more than the food, I savored the time my mom and I shared together. We were more than mother and daughter; we were friends whose Enchanted Selves mingled for a while.

To be continued…

— © Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

In private practice since 1981, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, psychologist and originator of The Enchanted Self, has committed to bring the keys of enchantment to the world.

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