The Enchanted Self           — by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

WELCOMING A Familiar Friend
By Guest Author Doreen Laperdon-Addison

Caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I realize that it's been a long while since I've spent an extended period of time with a familiar friend - myself. Living often lends itself to excuses for not catching up with old acquaintances.

That summer was great, the best in years. I've deposited in my personal memory bank enchanted recollections of going to the beach, swimming, hiking, taking day trips to museums and the zoo, and spending quality time with family and friends.

But that summer also summoned anxiety and restlessness on a deep personal level. During this time, I returned my focus to T'ai C'hi. I hadn't practiced it for about a year and a half. When I stopped, I knew that I would resume at some point. As time went on, though, I found myself worrying about all I had forgotten, which made it harder for me to begin again. But a dancer's mind also resides in her body (some people refer to this as "muscle memory"). When I first began practicing I was a little rusty, but found myself moving nonetheless. After a few weeks, I met with Peter Eno, my T'ai C'hi instructor and friend. With Peter, I realized how much I missed this type of movement, and the physical and emotional and spiritual pleasure I derive from it.

Establishing time for practice required that my whole family adjust its schedule. Initially I would practice in the house, trying to create a peaceful environment among people whose needs sometimes conflicted with mine. This proved difficult. I would imagine my husband thinking, "What is she up to now?" - while my daughter was shouting, "Where's Mommy?" But I continued. I couldn't deny that moving again made me breathe more deeply and feel both more relaxed and alert. Though this wasn't a formal "dance class," I was maintaining my flexibility while working on balance and other subtle movement patterns.

One morning, I found myself thinking that I should go outside and practice. I still remember gazing through the multi-colored leaves at the bluer-than-blue sky. Since then I've practiced outdoors every morning, regardless of the weather.

Why? My answer is simple: because it is exhilarating. My senses have become more attuned. Moving in this way enables me to reconnect with a friend: myself. Through my practice, I am learning how to maintain my focus on the present moment. I am also reminded of my love of learning and of nature, and of the importance of movement in my life. With childlike wonder I watch spiders spinning their webs, feel the sunshine on my skin, listen to the wind, and notice the squirrels, flowers, trees and vegetables while smelling the fragrant air.

My memories ebb and flow from past to present, creating the positive links that ground and support me as I continue to grow and change. My restlessness and anxiety have decreased. I now look forward to each morning, when I move, sometimes like a dancer and sometimes not, attuning myself to the rhythms within and without.

Welcome back, old friend. It's good to be on intimate terms once again.

— © Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

In private practice since 1981, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, psychologist and originator of The Enchanted Self, has committed to bring the keys of enchantment to the world.

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