Times are changing. A new life is approaching. I sense that's true for so many of us. Many of us welcome it. Yet I hesitate, holding onto scraps of worldly security when I know all too well that my only security is found in God. I listen carefully for omens and messages in each episode in every-day life. The joy and flurry of Christmas had provided a welcome respite from my quest but now, with the new year approaching, questions are coming up again, this time in neon!

My sweet daughter, Brooke, and her baby, Ti-Rose, live in Colorado. I visit as often as possible, but it's been far too little for my liking. Brooke is doing well, is successful in her work, has a wide circle of friends for support and for fun, and Ti-Rose is thriving in her day-care center. I am not needed there. So why is it that I'm pulled? Why am I considering spending my few precious dollars to make the move the 1,100 miles across desert and mountains, and 6,000 feet skyward, to go where I'm not needed? I've leaned on Brooke, looking for an answer.

"I'm fine, Mom. Do what you need to do. If you need to be here, I'll begin looking for apartments for you. If you need to stay there, do."

I've heard that many times. Why, then, am I not at peace? I heard from Touched by an Angel, a favored TV program: "Why is it when you talk to God, it's prayin' but when God talks to you, you're nuts?"

Why hadn't it occurred to me to go directly to the source and ask a very specific question?

"Father: I get lost in the thoughts. I think I hear You sometimes, and then I question if it's You speaking. Will You please give me an unambiguous answer? An answer in which there is no question whatever that it's You providing the answer? And an answer that so clearly points the way that all arguments and hesitation are lost, and one in which I am found?"

I had already left my job at a company I adored. The work at hand had demanded skills that I didn't possess, and a rigorous training schedule would be required in order for me to proceed there. That was the conversation. But was it reality? The instructions I'd received to leave had been clear, and to stay, unthinkable. I took that leap, and began to look for other work. That was last week, just before Christmas. This week, another reality, another world is developing before my eyes. I still hold on...

A quick trip to the post office yesterday. The newspaper ad specified that applications be submitted by mail -- a rather outdated mode of communication, I thought. Still, the job has my name on it: Knowledge of basic contracts, writing skills, computer literate. I would send my application certified so they would be sure to get it.

I never go to the tiny post office in Ben Lomond, but prefer the larger one near my work, opting for speed over relating with community. Today, I felt a pull toward this little office. Unexpectedly, though quickly, I found myself telling the post mistress my story while she completed the paperwork: "I quit my job, and this is an application for a new one. I've been torn though. Do I join my daughter and grandbaby in Colorado?"

I had obviously pushed a button for this delightful woman behind the counter. Tears filled her eyes as she told me of her own children, near the same age as my little Ti-Rose -- 2 and 4. She had begged her parents to visit her babies. The children need grandparents. "It's not up to your daughter, nor is it really up to you. You have been given a grandchild. She needs you to be there. Nothing is more important."

Her next question was in code: "Shall I post this application for you, or not?" really meant, "Are you going to accept the Word of God now, or not?"

I returned home. I called the owner of my gorgeous little mountain cabin in Santa Cruz County and gave notice. I'll be writing this article from a little pocket called Durango, high in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, beginning in February. This move is a call for miracles; I doubt I can do this on my own! I'll be taking PNN readers with me on my journey.

---© Glenna Heller

Congratulations, Glenna! What better way to learn faith and the power of following Divine Guidance than to take that blind leap of faith and just do it! Thank you for sharing your life with us - it can be a scary thing to do... Especially when admitting to ourselves that we don't know all the answers but are just responding to that tap on our shoulder that comes from a Higher Source. God will bless you and has so many good things in store. We can't wait to hear about them as your life-story unfolds. --- Jeanette