Thought for the Week  by Lisa Vaden

The Moment the Need to Compare Enters The Picture,
You
Are Living Out of Your Ego.

Recently I was talking with a trusted friend, and we’ll just call him Daniel.  I was sharing with him that I was having difficulties in another friendship and it was really bothering me. 

 

On the conscious level I am pretty sure the friend I am having difficulties with, we’ll just call her Paige, isn’t even aware there is a problem.  But deep down she must know because we can all sense when something is off.  We usually just don’t talk about it.

 

The moment of truth came and I shared with Daniel that the bottom line was I thought that I was better than Paige.  My friend, there is something about sharing the truth that will set you free. 

 

It wasn’t an easy thing to say, and I had never really shared it with anyone but God and my journal.  So it was a really big step to tell someone I was having problems in my relationship because I thought that I was better than another. 

 

It made me really sad and moved me to tears.  I wasn’t sad I said it.  I was sad that I truly felt it. 

 

I have been struggling with this issue for about a year.  I’ve been talking to God about resolving it.  I’ve let it go about a hundred and fifty times.  I’ve been journaling and trying to figure out what it is really about.  And I know it is not very spiritual.  That’s the biggest part that gets me, I truly want to seek and walk on the highest path possible. 

 

For the most part I am compassionate, and have gotten good at not feeling the need to compare myself with others.  I help a lot of people who are just becoming aware of things and changing things and never once have I felt that I am better than them.  I am too wrapped up and excited about all the great work we are doing together and how their lives will change as a result.

 

So why with this important friendship do I feel like I am better than this person?  And why the heck can’t I just let it go and get over myself?

 

I took a bath.  Ate dinner.  Let it go again.  And went to bed.  The next morning I got up and wrote about my talk with Daniel in my journal, and lo and behold, after a year of trying to understand what the heck this was all about, I found my answers! 

 

**

Good Morning God,

 

I shared something with Daniel last night that made me really sad.  I shared that I have problems with Paige and that it all stems from me feeling like I am better than her.  He’s the first person I’ve admitted it to outside of you and myself. 

 

It got me to thinking; what is it about Paige that “gets under my skin” and why?  Paige has been a close friend, so what is this really about? 

 

Upon reflection I have just realized that Paige and I at one time were growing by leaps and bounds together.  And due to certain things that have happened in her life in the last year I feel like she has stopped, she is stuck, and in my eyes she is living in a drama type existence. 

 

But you know what God?  I know that whatever is bothering me has nothing to do with her and everything to do with me.  So what is it about me?

 

Here it is God… I am realizing that on a deeper level I feel disappointed, abandoned and like I have been left without a partner once again. 

 

That is what this is all about.  

 

This experience is triggering deep-seated feelings that I have felt before and that I need to continue healing.    

 

I have struggled with respecting Paige and letting her be exactly who she is at any given moment, as well as, I have been struggling with this feeling of being better than she is. 

 

Now with these new insights (feeling disappointed, abandoned and partnerless), I know why my ego kicks in and what feelings my ego is trying to “protect” me from feeling. 

 

God, thank you for answering my prayers of helping me to understand why I have “problems” with Paige.  Now that I know what it is, I know what I need to do to resolve them.

 

Paige ~ I respect and appreciate who you are.  I honor you and your life as being perfect for your development and of your own design. I release you from any negative feelings.  I apologize.  I accept you as you are.  I love you.

 

Lisa ~ I respect and appreciate who you are.  I honor you and your life as being perfect for your development and of your own design. I release you from any negative feelings.  I forgive you for any unkind thoughts you have had towards another because now I understand where they come from and can deal with them directly.  I accept you as you are.  I love you.

 

Now it is healed.

 

**

And my friends, you too can use the example above to help you resolve whatever is upsetting or unsettling your life. 

 

Be truthful.  Seek to understand what is really going on with you.  

 

It is never about them, it is always all about you. 

 

Realize that the moment you feel the need to compare yourself with another in any manner, you are living out of your ego and not from your heart and Higher Self. 

 

There is no shame in having an ego because we all have one. The problems arise when we unconsciously live out of our ego. 

 

Our ego is designed to protect us, but at the same time, it keeps us separated from each other. 

 

Our job is to be the best ~ me ~ we can be, without dishonoring others. 

 

Nobody is better than anyone else.  There are only levels of awareness.  But being more aware doesn’t make you any better; it only makes you more aware.

 

Today, to the best of your ability, let go of your need to be better than anyone else and focus on being the best you that you can be. 

 

And remember…             

 

The Moment the Need to Compare Enters The Picture,

You Are Living Out of Your Ego.

 

But remember it with compassion, and seek to understand your lessons.

 

— © Lisa Vaden

 

E-mail Lisa at: lisa@lisavaden.com

Visit Lisa’s Dare to Dream homepage at:  http://www.lisavaden.com

View Lisa’s SFPNN archives at: http://www.sfpnn.com/lisa_vaden.htm

 May I Have This Dance Little One?  God’s Whispers by Lisa Vaden is now available!  If interested, please email me for ordering information.