My Song — by Lisa Vaden

FOLLOW THE SPIDER

 

Journal Entry from 02/19/08:

 

So I finally had a 3 day weekend to work on a very important me project…painting my bathroom.

 

I have pretty much had the paint for at least 2 months now and all previous plans to paint have been foiled for one reason or another.

 

I guess the main reason was that I wasn’t ready yet.

 

Because I wanted to do it right and I knew that it would take a lot of time and work to get the end result that I want.

 

And those who know me and about my painting project have been joking with me that I should be a pro at painting by now and should be able to knock it out in a few hours flat…could possibly even do it in my sleep.

 

Speaking of sleep, on Sunday I took an early nap prepping myself for the task at hand.  Yep, that’s right, I hadn’t started the painting project yet and it was already Sunday.

 

Was that stalling?

 

Who knows?

 

I just listen to my body and do as I am told. 

 

I didn’t feel guilty before, during or afterwards so maybe it wasn’t stalling.

 

But I did have an interesting dream.

 

I was walking out into a patio/garden type enclosure that was very beautiful.  I had to go through it in order to get to a pool to talk with someone who was waiting for me.

 

But the strange thing was that it was very dark in there, yet at the same time it was beautiful and warm and had a safe feeling about it. 

 

But it was very hard for me to see in there as I was carefully trying to make my way to whatever door that would lead me to the pool.

 

And then I felt it…a spider crawling on my skin. 

 

Not a big hairy, scary spider. 

 

It was more like a mini granddaddy long legs little spider. 

 

Which in all honesty still gave me the willies as spiders kinda wig me out!  Spiders, snakes and sharks oh my! 

 

Any who, when I brushed it off, it was replaced with another spider crawling somewhere else on my skin.  Yikes!

 

And so the dance continued.

 

One by one the spiders were making their presence known. 

 

And I was never covered in spiders.  Thank God!

 

It was just one by one, and it felt like the never ending March of the Spiders.

 

But that didn’t keep me from wiggin’ out and I began swiping and swatting and stomping and squealing after about the 10th spider showed up! 

 

And I felt really bad too because I don’t like to kill anything…but if it is between you and me and you don’t stop coming at me…well I am gonna always choose to protect me.  It is just human nature and probably pretty wise!

 

So anyway, I woke up unsettled because I have never dreamed about spiders that I know of and I couldn’t think of anything good that this dream could be trying to tell me.

 

You see to me, dreams are our mind’s way of creative problem solving.  Again to me, dreams are aimed at resolving “problems” that we are pondering consciously and unconsciously during in our waking hours. 

 

I looked up spiders and got two definitions that work for me with where I am right now…

 

(1)    Spiders are a symbol of creativity.  Spiders create intricate webs that defy all logic.

(2)    Spiders may indicate a feeling of being entangled or trapped in a sticky or clingy relationship. 

 

Once I read about the lovely little spiders, who still give me the willies, and their possible meanings, I felt more at peace. 

 

I have a list a mile long of creative projects that I want to devote myself to and I keep allowing myself to get side tracked for whatever reason(s). 

 

The March of the Spiders is symbolic of all my creative projects that are trying to get my attention, and which until now I have been swiping and swatting and stomping and squealing at…

 

Now I am just gonna follow the spider…one at a time…until it is time to follow the next one.  Round and round, up and down, left and right and upside down…pretty soon with their help I will weave my own beautiful and intricate web that defies all logic.  Creating my own beautiful and intricate web in which I intend to catch all of my manna from heaven. ;)

 

And I have a feeling that if I had the same dream again….I’d be hanging out by the pool with my friend enjoying the sunshine and water and probably watching the March of the Spiders together.

 

Now about my bathroom…God it is turning out to be the best project I have done yet!  I am pouring my heart and soul into it and have already done so for two days straight. 

 

It was looking kinda “if-y” there for a while, but now it is shaping up to be spectacular! 

 

Funny thing is…I have put soooooo much time and effort into it and I am only one–third of the way done! 

 

This is gonna take a while…but then again, the BEST things in life always do!

 

Until next time,

Lisa
 

PS: My wish for you is that you never settle and always work on creating the life that you know you are meant to live. 

A great book that can help you is my book May I Have This Dance, Little One? God’s Whispers. 

Just a thought.

— © Lisa Vaden, My Song

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