My Song — by Lisa Vaden

RECOVERING SELF-CRITIC AT YOUR SERVICE

 

Ok.  So it is time to come clean.  Guess what I found out about myself…I am way too critical…about me!  Holy Cow!  That is so not right!  That is so not cool!  That has so gotta go!

 

It doesn’t even matter where it came from.  I’ve got it.  I’ve got it in a bad way.  I don’t want it.  And the biggest clincher of all… it is sooooo not necessary!

Now I kinda already had a clue about this whole situation.  But I had no idea just how big it was until I really listened to myself in all of my full glory.  And when I do it, I do it right!  After listening to an hour long taped session of myself learning how to play the guitar, I was like oh dude, we soooo have gotta do something about this.

So there I am learning how to play the guitar.  I strum a note ~ D@mn!  Sorry.  I strum a note ~ Sh1t!  Sorry.  I strum a note ~ Cr@p! Sorry.

 

I kept apologizing because Josh has a more extensive vocabulary than I do and doesn’t feel the need to cuss. Not me.  When push comes to shove I can cuss like a sailor!  I was actually being quite gentle because of my audience.

Anyway, it is not my colorful vocabulary that got me.  It was the critical note in my voice that made me cringe.

 

What is that and why do I have it?

Poor Josh.  You have never seen a more patient and encouraging and nice and fun teacher.  And that is ON TOP of being a great teacher because of his skills and knowledge!

 

And what kept (and keeps) him from leaning over and throttling me ten times over, I’ll never know.  But since he didn’t, I used it as an opportunity to really observe myself and to see how I show up, especially when learning something new.

 

You know what I came up with? 

If you don’t have anything nice to say… especially when it comes to yourself…zip it!

So I am working this one daily. 

I slip a lot.  But then again I am a recovering self-critic so that is to be expected.  Isn’t that cute?  Awww, I am so cute!

So what do I do from here? 

I live in the present.  I observe myself.  When I see something that doesn’t make me feel all warm and gooey I erase and cancel out the old programming.  I let it go.  I set it free.  And I decide…Who do I want to be now? 

And presto, I am recovered. 

Ok, ok.  So it will take some time.  And ok, ok.  I gotta be careful not to go full force in the other direction with thinking I am all that.
Well, I am all that and more.  Ha, ha, ha.

Oh well, I’ll deal with that when I get there.  First I gotta love my self-critic back to health.

Should you be wrestling with this too, it is my hope that you know that hey, it happens to the best of us!  Ha, ha, ha!

 

Seriously life is too short to be beating yourself up.  Find a different way. 

 

Until next time,

Lisa
 

PS: My wish for you is that you never settle and always work on creating the life that you know you are meant to live. 

A great book that can help you is my book May I Have This Dance, Little One? God’s Whispers. 

Just a thought.

    © Lisa Vaden, My Song

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