By Jeanette M. Pintar - with inspiration from Misty

When Misty and I first encountered one another, it was in the backyard of a very protective poodle named Patrick. Patrick was not at all fond of cats… at least not since Miss Kitty (one door down) left that big scar on his nose. Misty seemed well aware of Patrick's distaste for felines and would visit only when Patrick was out of sight. As it became clearer that Misty would become a regular part of our family, we slowly introduced her to Patrick. I would sit in the middle, Misty would sit to my left, and Patrick to my right. As long as they both received ample petting and plenty of love, they respected one another's space. Later, after we moved from that dwelling and acquired birds and fish in addition to our little feline, Misty still seemed to respect their boundaries, as well as ours. However, when the birds were out of their cages during cleaning times, Misty did utilize the opportunity to see what life would look like from their perspective!

Respecting boundaries is an important part of relationships. Many people often don't realize when they do cross our boundaries or aren't even aware that we have them. Usually, this occurrence is the result of both parties involved. It's up to us to show people how we want and expect to be treated, and it's up to others to respect those wishes. If we don’t speak up, we're just as responsible for our boundaries being crossed as the other party.

Awareness and empathy are important aspects of all relationships. By being aware of others' body language (and spoken word) as well as being able to put ourselves in their place, we can usually determine boundaries quite easily. For instance, some people are huggers and some are not. Some people welcome a kiss on the cheek, some people are terrified of this greeting. Some people prefer a handshake, some are uncomfortable with it. Some people like being called by their title and last name (ie: "Hello, Mr. McDoogal!") and some people would much rather have you call them by first name ("Hey, Jake! What's up?"). Some people like to stand close and look you directly in the eye, others prefer to keep their distance and look elsewhere. It's up to us to figure out these boundaries and adhere to them if we want the relationship to work well. This is a crucial part of building trust, comfort, and intimacy with one another.

--- © Jeanette M. Pintar, Inspired by Misty