SFPNN Special Edition -
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--- Thanks to author, Joseph Walker, for today's Special Edition
EASTER WITH SE—OR MING
by Joseph Walker
To tell you the truth, Iíve never really understood the whole Easter Bunny thing.
Donít get me wrong. I understand Easter. I understand what it represents, both theologically and culturally. I even understand that many have chosen to remove its religious implications and celebrate it simply as a rite of spring.
What I donít understand is what any of that has to do with an oversized male rabbit that lays multi-colored chicken eggs.
Which is why Iíve always been a little Grinch-ish when this time of year rolls around. Iím all for celebrating Easter, but I believe the only good Easter Bunny is in a nice rabbit stew, with a multi-colored egg salad on the side.
As you might expect, Iím the only one in the family who feels this way. My children have always been big on Easterís benevolent bunny. Of course, theyíd be big on an Easter Slug if it brought them cheap plastic toys and chocolate. My wife Anita is an Easter enabler, filling the house with enough cute leporine Easter decorations to give Beatrix Potter a bunny buzz.
And Anita has gone even more hare-brained than usual this year, purchasing no fewer than three new decorative bunnies to help us celebrate the season. Her favorite is an 18-inch-tall pile of pink fluffiness with a purple vest and bow tie and a smile that reminds me of Jack Nicholson in "The Shining." When you squeeze its hand it dances and sings: "Easter Bunny . . . Easter Bunny . . . Easter Bunny . . . Easter Bunny . . . goes hop, hop, hop." It hops while it laughs a sadistic, Caribbean voo-doo master laugh. Then it sings "hop, hop, hop" again.
least, Iím pretty sure thatís what it sings. Itís kind of hard to tell. If you
listen closely as this rabbit sings you can hear a little Spanish and a little
Chinese in its accent. Throw in that
But where, oh where is the Security Council when you need them?
chuckles every time she hears SeŮor Ming (as Iíve
decided to call him) sing.
Personally, I donít think it can hold a candle Ė scented or otherwise Ė to our plush Christmas moose that sings "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer," but thatís beside the point. The fact is, SeŮor Ming has suddenly become an important part of our family Easter tradition Ė for this year, anyway. As far as weíre concerned, Easter 2003 will consist of colored eggs, chocolate bunnies, jelly beans and . . . "hop, hop, hop."
thatís just as it should be.
Whether or not we understand them.
Hop, hop, hop.
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--- Joseph Walker
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