SFPNN Special Edition –
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________________________________________________________________
— Thanks to everyone who contributed to today's Special Edition,
especially those special people we call “Mom” and “Dad” and
those who are the nurturers in our lives.
________________________________________________________________
JOY TO THE POWER OF JEN
By Joseph Walker
Something wasn’t quite right
with Emily.
You could see it in her
eyes. You could hear it in her
voice. You could feel it in the slightly
disinterested way she gnawed on your fingers.
Well, what did you expect? Emily is only 10 months old.
With her two older sisters she
had come to spend a couple of days with her Grammy and Grandpa – that would be
my wife, Anita, and I. It would be the
first time in her very short life she had spent more than a couple of hours
away from her mother.
And for the most part she did
really well. Oh, she fussed a little now
and then. And she seemed to need to be
held most of the time (which, truth be told, we were delighted to do). And she wasn’t much interested in roaring
when she was asked: “What does the lion say?”
But she ate well. She cuddled sweetly. And she slept through the night. In fact, Anita had a more fitful sleep than
Emily did, as she instinctively awakened every two hours or so to check on the
infant slumbering so peacefully just a few feet from her bed.
Emily and I slept like
babies. Anita slept like a mother.
Still, there was something
about Emily that wasn’t quite right.
“Maybe she’s coming down with
something,” I said to Anita as I worked to coax a giggle out of the normally
jovial baby.
“She’s fine,” Anita said,
smiling and cooing at her youngest granddaughter like the child-rearing veteran
that she is. “She just misses her mommy,
don’t you, Emily?”
Emily almost smiled her
agreement.
Almost.
I have learned to trust Anita’s
perspective on such matters, but I was still secretly clinging to my “coming
down with something” theory when Emily’s mother (our daughter-in-law, Jen)
arrived to pick up the girls. I took Emily
with me to open the door. I wish I had
taken a camera with me, too. A
photograph of the look on Emily’s face when she saw her mother for the first
time in two days would explain more about the value and impact of motherhood
than her grandfather could write in a decade’s worth of Mother’s Day
columns. It was pure, unadulterated
joy. Joy squared. Joy to the power of . . .
well . . . Jen.
Emily threw herself against her
mother and wrapped her chubby little arms around her neck, the joyful
expression on her face not diminishing one whit. She hugged her for a moment and then started
kissing her on the cheek. When she was
through kissing Jen she leaned over to Jen’s mother and started kissing her
cheek. And then she leaned toward me and
started kissing me on the cheek – big, wide, joyful kisses from a little girl
suddenly filled with more love than her heart could hold. Then she hugged Jen again, followed by
another round of kisses for Jen, Jen’s mother and me. When Anita arrived home after a quick trip to
the store, she and Emily’s big sisters were included in yet another round of
kisses as love erupted and flowed like magma from the emotional Vesuvius that
suddenly was our baby granddaughter.
“Are you happy to see your
mama?” Anita asked, smiling, as she tickled the baby who was still lovingly
wrapped in her mother’s arms.
Emily smiled broadly, her eyes
sparkling vibrantly, and she giggled that deep, throaty,
from-the-very-depths-of-her-soul giggle that had been missing for a couple of
days. Mommy was back, and somehow that
made everything right with Emily.
Which, it seems to me, is what
motherhood is all about: love, happiness and joy squared.
To the power of Jen.
-- © Joseph Walker
For more ValueSpeak, please visit http://www.sfpnn.com/joseph_walker1.htm
E-mail Joseph at: valuespeak@msn.com
* * * Announcing Joseph Walker's newest book! * * *
Check the
link to find out more or order a copy of this uplifting collection.
Look What Love Has Done:
Five-Minute Messages to Lift Your Spirit
"How
Can You Mend a Broken Spleen? Home Remedies for an Ailing World."
is available on-line through www.Amazon.com.
* * *
— Thanks to Kathy Pippig Harris
for
Author Unknown
Your Mother is always with you.
She's the whisper of the leaves
as you walk down the street; she's the smell of certain foods you remember,
flowers you pick and perfume that she wore;
she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well.
She's your breath in the air on
a Cold winter's day. She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the
colors of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning.
Your Mother lives inside your
laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.
A mother shows every
emotion... Happiness, sadness, fear,
jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow...and all
the while, hoping and praying you will only know the Good feelings in life.
She's the place you came from, your first
home, and she's the map you follow with every step you take.
She's your first love, your first friend, even
your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you. Not
time, not space...not even death!
PASS THIS ON TO
* * *
"The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or touched, they must be felt with the heart."
~Helen Keller
* * *
— Thanks to Ellie Braun-Haley of
CHAPSTICK
Author Unknown
So, we had this wonderful 10
year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the
kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He
used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.
We have three kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli.
Eli really loves Chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my Chapstick
and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I
keep my Chapstick and how he could use it whenever he
wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.
Last year on Mother's Day, we
were having the typical rush around and trying to get ready for Church with
everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys
are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one
at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone
has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job
that is motherhood.
We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom.
And there was Eli. He was applying my Chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . . rear end!
Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind.
The only question to really ask
at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.
And THAT is my favorite
Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to
civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when
you realize they've been using your Chapstick on the
cat's butt.
* * *
— Thanks to frieda
R. of
A WOMAN
This is written in the Hebrew
Talmud, the book where all of the sayings and preaching of Rabbis are conserved
over time. It says…
"Be very careful if you
make a woman cry, because God counts her tears.
The woman came out of a man's rib.
Not from his feet to be walked on.
Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the
heart to be loved."
* * *
REFLECTIONS ON MY MOM
By Reverend Scott Allen Russell
An interesting thing happened to me on the drive home from work yesterday, and I wanted to share it with you.
As I was making my way home last night, I began thinking about my Mom. Mom made her transition last October due to pancreatic cancer. I started thinking back on all those 'moments' we shared together. No one else. Just me and my Mommy.
I got to thinking how Mother's Day was going to be very different this year, and how I seem to be encountering much more advertisement, and references to moms and Mother's Day in general. I began to weep; not from loss, but from gratitude.
My Mom was...
As I wrote that last line, the word 'was' didn't seem appropriate. My Mom IS.
She is always with me. Always looking out for me, and always loving me. Which brings me to what happened yesterday. As I said, I had been turning thoughts to her, telling her how much I missed her, and how great a job she did raising my sister and I when I felt a tingling on the right side of my face. Not so much of a tingling, as a gentle stroke.
You see, when I was troubled or scared of the world as a child, my Mom would gently stroke my face and let me know that she was there, and she would take care of me.
It's very difficult to write right now... So many emotions...
I do know that the sensation I felt yesterday was Mom once again reassuring me that everything was, once again, okay. That I needn't be worried or sad. She is content, and all is well.
I Thank God for the awareness of life. I Thank God for the Faith that keeps my Mom with me always. For she is there...
They're all there... Looking over us, taking care of us, all we need do is know that. Mom completed her mission, and returned to Source. May we all live with such Grace.
Thank you all, my friends
I love you all.
Peace,
Rev. Scotty
[8)>
— © 2007 Rev. Scott Allen Russell
spiritual.warrior@yahoo.com
www.scottallenrussell.com
* * *
RAINING BACON
By Joseph Walker
Allison (not her real name) is
approaching the end of her first year as a single mom.
As you might expect, it hasn’t
been an especially fun year. Countless
lessons have been learned – some pleasantly, some painfully.
“I have gained so much respect
for the women I’ve known throughout my life who were single moms,” she told me
recently. “I just had no idea what they
were going through.”
Allison is the first to admit
that as hard as the year has been, she has it better than many single
moms. Her brother and his wife live
nearby, and they have helped a lot with childcare, shared meals and a shoulder
upon which to occasionally cry. She has
loving, supportive friends who have sustained her. And although her relationship with her
ex-husband is understandably strained, they have been able to work together
cooperatively for their daughter’s well being.
“I don’t know how other single
moms do it,” she said. “I have been so
blessed.”
Still, she struggles –
especially financially. Thankfully,
she’s been able to stay gainfully employed, but without a college education or
much employment experience, her options are limited – as is her salary range.
Which is why
she started nail school.
“My goal is to have my own
full-service salon – hair, nails, make-up, that sort of thing,” she said. “So I’m going to start out learning to be a
nail technician, then I can use that training to help me earn my way through my
hair salon apprenticeship. Then I can go
to work and save up enough to open my own business.”
And that will be great – down
the road. But for right now, financial
survival is a struggle. Nail school
tuition and fees pretty much wiped out her meager savings, and class and lab
attendance requirements made it so she had to quit her full-time job. She’s working part-time at a convenience
store while going to school full-time.
Between living expenses, childcare costs and the high price of gasoline
to take her from home to school to work, there is barely enough to meet the
demand, let alone any additional costs.
Like new nail
equipment.
“Our tuition paid for enough
stuff to get us through nail school,” Allison said. “But now they’re telling us that to be
marketable in the workplace we will need to upgrade our equipment. Like there’s this drill we will need that
costs $150. Where am I going to come up
with that kind of money? I barely make
it through the week as it is.”
Enter Marie (not her real name,
either).
Marie is one of Allison’s
classmates at nail school. Although she
is old enough to be Allison’s mother, the two women have become good
friends. So Allison didn’t think it
unusual when Marie took her aside during a break the other day.
“So, did you get your new drill
yet?” Marie asked casually.
Allison laughed a little
sarcastically. “Yeah, right,” she said. “When pigs fly!”
“Better get out your umbrella,”
Marie replied as she pressed an object into Allison’s hands. “It’s raining bacon.”
Allison looked at the object in
her hands. It was the new $150 drill she
needed. Overwhelmed, she started to
protest, but Marie just held up a hand.
“I was a single mom too, and I
know how hard it is,” she said. “I never
would have made it without help from caring people. So let me do this for you now. Then someday, when things are better for you,
you can pay me back by doing something like this for another single mom.”
Another lesson learned –
pleasantly.
Or at least, as pleasantly as possible when it’s raining bacon.
-- © Joseph Walker
For more ValueSpeak, please visit http://www.sfpnn.com/joseph_walker1.htm
E-mail Joseph at: valuespeak@msn.com
* * *
— Thanks to Kathy Pippig Harris
what my mother taught me
Author Unknown
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A
"If you're going to kill each
other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that this will
come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother
taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean
underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying,
and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of
OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your
supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on
the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all
that creamed corn is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as
if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF
"I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR
MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your
father!"
15. My mother
taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have
wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get
home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when
you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they’ll get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me
"Put your sweater on; don't
you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off
your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your
father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind
you. Do you think you were born in a
barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age,
you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about
JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and
I hope they turn out just like you"
* * *
“You are goodness and mercy and compassion
and understanding.
You are peace and joy and light.
You are forgives and patience, strength and courage,
a helper in time of need,
a comforter in tie of sorrow,
a healer in times of injury,
a teacher in times of confusion.
You are the deepest wisdom and the highest truth;
the greatest peace and the grandest love.
You are these things.
And in moments of your life
you have KNOWN yourself as these things.
CHOOSE
— © Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue
Book 1
* * *
FATHERHOOD, PLEETHORICALLY SPEAKING
By Joseph Walker
There is playful discussion in
the extended
This is not a metaphysical
discussion. We are not pondering the
various roles, relationships and responsibilities of fathers. Nor are we considering the theological
implications of fatherhood as a way of understanding God and His divine
interactions with His children.
No, this discussion is purely
physical, and not especially godly. It’s
about, for lack of a better word, manhood.
And all of the folly that word
implies.
The conversation started when
Cousin Daniel started boasting in the family newsletter about how “manly” he
must be because his sweet (and extraordinarily patient) wife Stephanie is
expecting their fourth child – and fourth son.
Said Daniel: “Some of us are cursed with masculinity
to the point that we are incapable of producing female offspring.”
This was unsettling to Cousin
Jeff, who, with the considerable help of his wife, Karen, has sired five sons. “Before the younger members of the family
pound their own chests with such verbiage I would ask that they remember those
who truly merit such a claim,” wrote Jeff, who went on to humbly cite himself
as an example of the truly worthy, along with brother Bob, cousin Ron and Uncle
Sandy, all of whom are fathers to twin sons.
“To produce two sons at once,”
Bob has said often, “surely this is the ultimate manifestation of manhood, pleethorically speaking.” (Don’t bother looking up the word
“pleethorically.”
You won’t find it in your dictionary.
It’s a word Bob has coined to mean . . . well, just about anything he
wants it to mean. And in this case it
has something to do with manhood and the reproduction thereof – or something
like that).
None of which was intended to
infer that having sons is somehow better than having daughters. Just that it is somehow more . . . you know .
. . manly.
The very idea of which my son,
Joe, found to be positively Neanderthal.
“Men are, by their very nature,
simple creatures – physically, mentally, emotionally,” Joe said. “For a man to participate in the creation of
another man is little more than going to the genetic copy machine. You’re re-making yourself. Big deal. It’s like tracing a copy of the Mona Lisa and
calling it art. How much more amazing is
it if a male participates in the creation of something completely different
than himself, and infinitely more complex: a female.”
Uh, you should probably be
aware that Joe’s wife, Jen, is due to give birth to their third child – and
third daughter – at any moment.
For myself, I happen to think
there is much to be said for those who have the genetic dexterity to create
both male
And where they had . . . you
know . . . come out.
Of course, all of this angst
over the placement of a single, simple “y” chromosome has little to do with
manhood one way or the other. Nor does
it have anything to do with fatherhood, when it comes right down to it. For fatherhood isn’t about biology or
chemistry or physiology or even genetics.
Fatherhood is about love, pure and simple. Loving enough to teach. Loving enough to play. Loving enough to care. Loving enough to just be
there.
Pleethorically speaking, or
otherwise.
-- © Joseph Walker
For more ValueSpeak, please visit http://www.sfpnn.com/joseph_walker1.htm
E-mail Joseph at: valuespeak@msn.com
* * *
WHAT
By Joseph Walker
What are dads for?
According to at least one
respondent in a not-so-scientific survey taken a few years back, they exist for
one reason and one reason only: “To take out the trash.”
Of course, other respondents –
children in our neighborhood ranging in age from
Michael says we have dads “so
they can play with us.” Kelsey is more
pragmatic. She says we have dads “to go
to work and get money for us.” Ashley
thinks dads are there “so you can ask them questions,” and Colby says we have
them “to help us when we have problems.”
But I sort of like Kyle's answer.
He says that “dads are for being nice.”
I'm glad that's true for
Kyle. I wish it were true for all
children – especially mine.
The children also had different
ideas about what their dads do all day.
McKenzie's dad “works and golfs.” Nathan's dad “plays with toys at work.” Levi's dad “gets paged.” And Auraleigh's dad
“goes to work where he eats all day and looks around for his wife” (I've got to
talk to Raleigh -- Auraleigh's dad -- about where to
apply for that job).
Asked “What is your dad’s
favorite thing to do?” most of the children responded with play: basketball,
four-wheeling, golf, water skiing, hunting and fishing. Watching sports on TV was also big, as was
fixing cars.
Lucky Leah! Lucky Leah's dad!
Some of the most interesting
responses came when the children were asked “How will your dad change once he
turns 60?” (I guess 60 is the generic age for Really, Really, Way, Way Old,
although I must tell you that the closer I get to 60, the less Really Way Old
it seems). “His hair will be a little
gray,” said McKenna. “He might have a
beard,” said Nathan. “He will get kinda saggy on his face like all grandpas do,” said
Justin. “I think he’ll get more serious
and might slow down,” said Rochelle. “He
won't be as hyper,” said Michael. “He
will be like . . . confused,” said Jonathan.
Uh, that was from Jonathan
Walker. My son. And I'm already confused.
The question “What does your
dad say all the time?” was pretty revealing about family dynamics. Lots of dads were quoted for those quickie
commands we all use from time to time: “Put your shoes on!” “Roll up the Nintendo controls!” “Go to your room!” On the other hand, Frankie remembers his dad
saying, “A job worth doing is worth doing well.” Justin's dad says, “You're great, Just!” Adam's dad
says, “You know what I like about you? Everything!” And
Wouldn't it be great if all our
kids remembered hearing their dads say “I'm proud of you” more than “Let me
just say one more thing about that” – the best-remembered fatherly phrase of
the
Reading the survey,
unscientific though it may have been, I learned a few things. I learned that there are different kinds of
dads who impact their children’s lives in different ways. I learned that it’s the simple, common,
ordinary things that seem to have the most impact (there wasn’t a single
reference to fancy houses, expensive cars or costly trips). And I learned that God gave us dads to “love
us” (Kyle), “take care of us” (Allyson), “protect us” (
With or
without the trash.
-- © Joseph Walker
For more ValueSpeak, please visit http://www.sfpnn.com/joseph_walker1.htm
E-mail Joseph at: valuespeak@msn.com
* * *
“Now
it is one thing to BE love and
quite another thing to DO something Loving.
— © Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue
Book 1
* * *
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