Wednesday WORD

Wednesday WORD --- by Diane, The California Dreamer

INTIMACY

Intimacy: something of a personal or private nature, to communicate delicately. Synonyms: Acquaintance, experience, familiarity, inwardness.

When you think of "Intimacy" or being "intimate" is sex the first thing you think of? Or do you think of a strong connection? Many confuse these two concepts of "intimacy." There is most certainly quite a difference between the two. Sex is an expression of an intimacy that already exists, not a way to become "intimate." We can have a very "intimate" relationship without any physical contact, just as sex can take place without any type of "connection."

When we are intimate with another, we let go of our camouflage and allow the other to see who we truly are. We "RISK" being vulnerable and the possibility of being hurt. And we expose our frailties. We share our most inner thoughts and feelings.

"TRUST" is a major part of being "intimate" as without it, one can't feel free to open up. By trusting, we allow ourselves to have a closer connection. This type of communication takes time and is somewhat of a dance between two people in the beginning. It is not something that most of us jump right into without testing the waters first to see just how much of ourselves we can expose. We wait to see how the information is received and if the other person is willing to "share" in the same manner.

Intimacy requires participation by both parties. Both persons must want to be involved and they have to feel comfortable enough in the relationship to say what they want and need within to contents of the relationship. This type of participation opens our souls to another.

There are people who choose to avoid intimacy. Often these people have been hurt in the past and have built up emotional walls to protect themselves from ever being hurt again. This type of behavior might protect their heart and soul in the short term, however if they never "RISK" or "TRUST" will have a very lonely life. It’s important to move past the past hurts and betrayals and allow another in.

Allowing another to become familiar with our deepest feelings is a true compliment to that person. This is something that has to be ongoing and

we have to work on continually to maintain a close relationship. When one person is willing to open up and the other isn't, this can cause serious problems and needs immediate attention by both parties to have a fulfilling and satisfying union.

Part of being intimate is listening to one another and letting them know we hear and understand what they are trying to communicate. This includes not trying to "fix" everything that ever happened to the other person. Sometimes all we need is a shoulder to cry on or someone to hold our hand during a tough time in our life.

Having compassion for another is also a form of intimacy. We can learn to reciprocate and give back to one another, which in turn, initiates growth for both parties.

Another aspect of intimacy is accepting ourselves. This includes accepting all those frailties we keep so hidden from others. When we accept and love all of ourselves, we can extend this to another. If we don't give what we would like from another to ourselves, how can we extend it to others? How will we know what unconditional love feels like?

"True intimacy with another human being
can only be experienced when
you have found true peace with yourself"

-- Angela L. Wozniak