Wednesday
WORD — by Diane, The
MORE
HEARTFUL HOLIDAYS
“Only
when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know
what love means." -
Leo Buscaglia
It doesn't seem possible to already be the holiday season. And with the holiday season comes a lot of places to go, things to do and complete. Along with this comes stress.
Much of this stress is self imposed…As well as the unrealistic expectations.
This is the first time in the nine years I have worked for my company that I am taking off the entire week of Christmas. I am going out of town – and out of the country -- on a cruise. I don't think I have ever gone away for this week.
I've reached a point in my life where I have no family responsibilities. It is about time I do something for myself and enjoy myself away from my regular lifestyle.
I used to be all stressed out trying to force my holidays to be something they weren't ... meaning Norman Rockwell or picture perfect. I didn't realize I have no control over what other people say and do for their holidays.
I used to make myself nuts trying to get the "perfect" gift for so and so. When so and so opened that "perfect" gift or what I thought would be the "perfect" gift and didn't have the reaction I thought they should have, I would be crushed. What I didn't realize back then was that it wasn't about me. I didn't give gifts without expectations. I expected the other person to appreciate all the time and effort that went into to getting that gift for them. I also would be crushed if someone gave me a "less" than what I expected gift.
I remember staying up late for nights getting everything wrapped perfectly. The amount of cookies I made to give out was beyond insane. My decorations inside and outside of my house seemed to take on a life of their own.
I used to have my son Gregory's birthday parties one to two weeks before Christmas as I wanted to make sure that he wasn't short changed with his birthday being December 16th. I no sooner recovered from a children's party and I would have an adult party, then prepare an all out and out Christmas Eve dinner. I was resentful and completely exhausted and wondered why.
When I look back now, I can see it was about what I felt was lacking inside of me that I was trying to make up for on the outside and prove myself.
Today I don't have to prove anything to anyone. Yes, my shopping list has gone down to only a few people. Oddly, the "perfect" gift for each of the people on my list just seems to fall into my path with ease. I enjoy coming up with clever ideas on gifts. I don't have to rack my brain and exhaust myself looking for something. And today, I give a gift with no strings or expectations attached. What a relief this is for me.
Now I enjoy the holidays. I don't spend lots of money and time at the malls. I might cook some of my favorite meals, and if I feel like it, make a batch of cookies to take to work.
I think I finally learned the meaning of the holidays... To enjoy the time with people I want to spend my time with. To love and honor myself and my desires. By doing so, I am a lot happier and better to be around. I give my presents without expectations. Both from the material and the spiritual gift aspect.
This year I am working on giving more of myself to others. To show up more tolerant, loving and non judgmental. I am giving gifts that money can't buy. Things that come from within my heart and soul. These also aren't gifts only to give during the holiday season, it is a way of living my life everyday.
Does any of this ring true for you? Do you feel stressed and wonder how you'll get everything done and please everyone? Is your calendar/date book so full you don't know if you are coming or going?
Take time to get in tuned with what really matters most to you. Are you giving from a place of love or obligation? Are you trying to prove something? What are your heart's desires for you and your family this holiday? How can you make them happen?
Can you bring forth those very gifts that money can't buy that you might not normally give?
You have the opportunity to make this holiday the beginning of new changes that can last a lifetime.
Here's to the holiday's of 2007 -- make them your best yet.
— © Diane, The
Visit Diane’s homepage at: http://www.sfpnn.com/wednesday_word.htm
E-mail Diane