Wednesday WORD — by Diane, The California Dreamer

SOUL LESSONS OF AGING

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them." -- Denis Waitley

I am regrouping from a very mentally as well as physically exhausting week.

I went to Tampa, Florida, to be with my Father while he had his hip replaced. He and I have grown quite close in the last 2 years since we reunited after a long period of not communicating. It has been almost a year since we last saw each other.

We planned to have a few days prior to his hospital stay for some quality time together. We did enjoy this time. We shared many funny stories and happy memories.

However, there were several things I was not prepared for mentally or emotionally.

His spouse has Alzheimer's Disease. I knew she had some memory problems but was not aware of, or in no way prepared for, the true nature of her limitations. This broke my heart as I have known her for 30 years. It was sad to see that by all outside appearances she is not the woman she once was. I was also not prepared to be her caregiver as well as spend 8-10 hours a day at the hospital with my Father.

The surgery went well and my Father will make a full recovery with lots of effort on his part. As we had planned, I left him in a medical rehab center. It made me sad to see the people who were left there so much worse off than my Father. Needless to say I had a reality check.

After pulling myself together emotionally and a couple of good nights’ sleep, I have accepted the reality of the situation and decided to help my Father the best I can from across the country. He and I had a very serious phone conversation and he has accepted the fact that he needs to take care of himself and can no longer be everything to his spouse. I am going to contact several social service agencies to get my Father help with her as well.

What I learned from this experience is that we all get older, and with age, often become frail. Aging is a natural process and the best we can do is take good care of ourselves and remember that we aren't superman or woman and ask for help. We all have limitations to what we have control over in our lives.

I can't change my Father’s situation, but I will give him all the support I can to help him improve his life. In this process, I also will learn new avenues of help that are available to all of us.

My Father thanked me over and over for taking the time to be with him and how much it meant to him to have me there. However, I am the one who is grateful. The lessons I learned are priceless and will carry over with me for the rest of my life.

I am grateful to have been of service and to continue to be of service to him. These were soul lessons and now I give back from my heart.

— © Diane, The California Dreamer

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