Wednesday WORD — by Diane, The California Dreamer

BEING PRESENT

"Right action has a way of always happening when we allow it." — DMK

You might recall that in March, I went to Florida for a week to stay with my Dad and his spouse when he had his hip replaced. (See my article from March 19, 2007 for details.)  I got a dose of Real Life that week I had not been expecting. When I left my Dad in March I made a promise to come back to check on him and to spend quality time together when he was feeling better.

Wow -- what a difference six weeks can make.  I am happy to say that my Dad is six weeks post op and doing wonderfully.  He has had a terrific recovery and is walking most of the time without assistance or even using a cane. 

When he picked me up at the airport, I could immediately tell he was 110% better.  He was standing tall at the waiting area when I got off the tram, I could see that he was like a new man.  He was cheerful and looked great, his face didn't have grimace lines of pain.  He was excited about seeing me and showing me the progress he has made.

I must say that I needed the break from my hectic fast paced lifestyle.  I also needed to be assured he was ok.  Within the first 24 hours I could tell I was going to have a bit of a withdrawal from the fast-paced life I left back in LA. 

Dad is retired and isn't in much of a hurry to do anything. My small still voice kept repeating over and over to me that I was getting a lesson in being "Present."  Within 48 hours, I noticed I had relaxed and was becoming quite used to the easy going lifestyle my Dad has.  

I also noticed we were having meaningful conversations.  We were able to even discuss those all-so-necessary-but-I-don't-want-to-talk-about-them topics.  My Dad discussed his last wishes with me; I was open and assured him I would follow those wishes.  We were able to go to an attorney to put his affairs in order with ease.

We went to the beach and spent a wonderful afternoon one day. We also went back to watch a sunset on my last evening there, just being present with each other. 

His wife isn't much better with her Alzheimer's, however, I noticed my tolerance was much better and I was present for her also. I was able to take her out of the house and give my Dad a break from being her care-giver. 

I was able again to witness the love he shares with his wife and how much he cares for her in everything he does for her.  He showed me by his example what I now believe true love is.  He was just doing what he has done for her for several years now.  He was just being himself.  I had not seen that part of him as a child with my Mother (his first wife). 

As for the Alzheimer's issues with his current wife, we were able to check into the resources available in his community and get that ball rolling. 

Being able to unwind and allow made all the difference in my visit.  I was able to leave knowing that without me being close, right action is taking place.  All is well with my Dad and he will be fine as his recovery continues. 

— © Diane, The California Dreamer

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