Tom R. Oh

The Christmas Tree Chronicles

Tom R. Oh's tastefully twisted column, The Christmas Tree Chronicles appears only on SFPNN's website. This is a special bonus feature we are proud to offer. Warning: Not for the faint of a humorous heart.

Tom has also written other stories and series which are available by clicking below or scrolling down after the Christmas Tree Chronicles.

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Hello, you were probably expecting Tom Rotundo, a.k.a. Tom R. oh to be writing this, but the truth is it is I, Harley, who does all the writing. Who am I? I am a Chihuahua and much cuter than that one who does Mexican food commercials.

I adopted Tom, his family and Winnie, an ugly Brittany Spaniel, 4 years ago while I lived in Sherman, TX. I moved to Allen , TX. recently and out of the goodness of my heart brought them all along with me, even Winnie, who said my face looked like the front end of a bus. Winnie has been with Tom for 6 years. He bought her if you can believe it. I would have thought such barbaric practices would have been banned years ago. Oh, you don’t want to hear any more about Winnie, can’t blame you there, but you want to know more about Tom?

I guess it takes all kinds as they say and Tom is definitely a kind of some sort. I had to do a lot of digging but I found out that Tom was born on the south side of Chicago and that shortly thereafter he moved to Davenport, IA, where he received most of his formal education. He never wrote a book but he claims he read one once - said it was named “My First Reader” and that he is waiting for the sequel before he reads another. “Bad Tom! Bad! Quit licking my paws while I am trying to type.” Don’t you just hate when humans lick your paws when you are typing?

Anyway, where was I? The reasons for Tom leaving Davenport are unclear but he next appears in Phoenix, AZ., where he met Fay, whom he married. He then moved to Tucson, AZ., and finally to Sherman, where they were fortunate enough to meet me. Somewhere along the line they acquired 2 kids. How this happened is a complete mystery to me. Fay died in November of 1999 from breast cancer. The stories that are attributed to Tom are the result of promises he made to Fay before she died. He promised her that a Christmas tree from a particular Christmas tree farm would be in the house that Christmas. He also promised to try to keep in touch with some of Fay’s Internet buddies because she felt they could help him deal with her loss. Fay would have liked an Irish Wake, she loved laughter but she knew that an Irish Wake was not possible. Tom thought and thought and decided that a story could take the place of the Irish Wake. Thus, the first Christmas tree story was the result of these promises. That was supposed to be the only such story but some wanted to hear more and they kept asking so I wrote more stories for them.

I had better go now; Tom and Winnie are leaping up and down at the back door. I guess they need to go out. They are not very patient when it comes to stuff like that. They way they act you would think that there was not going to be another Tom R oh.

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Tom R. Oh

-  13 posts

Tom R. Oh
12/10/2012   Lost Tales Of The Wild Wood 14: Maid Again  By Tom R. Oh
THE LOST TALES OF THE WILD WOOD #14 By Tom R oh Maid Again There was an unusual silence to the Forest of Naughtyhams. The Forest was holding its breath to see how long it could do it. So far it was up to the count of 499. Thi[..]
Tom R. Oh
12/03/2012   Christmas Tree Chronicles 235: Take A Lumber Please  By Tom R. Oh
Vol. CCXXXV TheChristmas TreeChronicles  TAKE A LUMBER, PLEASE   ‘I can’t make decisions. I’m a president!’ - from Spaceballs, the movie.   “Drain drops keep ploppin’ on my bed, And just like the fly sit[..]
Tom R. Oh
11/26/2012   Eg 29: The Eyeglare Sanction?  By Tom R. Oh
THE EYEGLARE SANCTION? eg-29By Tom R. Oh!   Dawn swept over the land wielding and old care worn broom against the slowly retreating night. It had been a dark night.  A very dark night made darker by horrendous black clouds and a typic[..]
Tom R. Oh
11/19/2012   Other Story # 19: One Day In A Small Town!  By Tom R. Oh
OTHER STORY # 19. BY TOM R OH! ONE DAY IN A SMALL TOWN!   The marketplace promised to be a hot overly sunny place to be again today.  Just like it had been day after day before.  Dust swirled in angry little eddies as a lone man slow[..]
Tom R. Oh
11/12/2012   Christmas Tree Chronicles: Far From The Maddening Cloud  By Tom R. Oh
FAR FROM THE MADDENING CLOUD! Vol. CCXXXIV TheChristmas TreeChronicles   ‘To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government and the sure and gradual deterioration of the public morals’ – Mark T[..]
Tom R. Oh
11/05/2012   Christmas Tree Chronicles: Wall To Wall And C. Tree Top Tall!  By Tom R. Oh
WALL TO WALL AND C.TREE TOP TALL! Vol. CCXXXIII TheChristmas TreeChronicles   “If you only do it when it’s easy, is it worth doing?” from Ceremony by Robert B. Parker.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[..]
Tom R. Oh
10/29/2012   Christmas Tree Chronicles: What’s In Your Walnut?!  By Tom R. Oh
WHAT’S IN YOUR WALNUT?! Vol. CCXXXII TheChristmas TreeChronicles   ‘You’ll nair get shed of old drunkards, I’ll tell you the reason why--- There’s two old drunkards get theirselves born For air old drunkard to die.[..]
Tom R. Oh
10/22/2012   Christmas Tree Chronicles: Leaving It All Bee-rind!  By Tom R. Oh
LEAVING IT ALL BEE- RIND! Vol. CCXXXI TheChristmas TreeChronicles   ‘You’ll nair get shed of old drunkards, I’ll tell you the reason why--- There’s two old drunkards get theirselves born For air old drunkard to di[..]
Tom R. Oh
10/15/2012   Christmas Tree Chronicles: Of Sound Rind!  By Tom R. Oh
OF SOUND RIND! Vol. CCXXX TheChristmas TreeChronicles ‘With all the different colors that roses come in, how can I pick the right color for my glasses?’ – Tom R OH! ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[..]
Tom R. Oh
10/08/2012   Christmas Tree Chronicles: Bee Kind, Please Re-rind!  By Tom R. Oh
BEE   KIND, PLEASE RE-RIND! Vol.   CCXXIX TheChristmas   TreeChronicles   ‘I am not a child.’ Something said or thought by almost everyone   on earth at one child/adult moment or another. – Tom R OH!   ‘Y[..]
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