When training your horse, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of being positive and gentle. You are training the most primitive part of your brain. When you use force alone (will power) you are dragging the horse. It never gets any easier, and your horse lies in wait for you to stop paying attention just as a child does when she is forced to do something she doesn't want to do. When lovingly trained, she delights in doing the right thing. You and your horse are no different.

When the horse is trained, you can ride it and trust it. Untrained, you drag it for a while and then you quit trying. It's just too hard.

The Horse (unconscious mind):

* Stores and uses learned information.

* Considers anything new (or different) to be bad, wrong and dangerous.

* Your FEELINGS will be in response to how your horse is reacting.

--- when you don't smoke at a time you used to, you will FEEL like something is wrong.

* The goal of your horse is to remain unchanged until you die.

* Your horse believes that all your wants are actually needs.

When your horse wants something your whole body feels it as a call to action.

Power is the only thing the horse understands in the short run. Repetition with intention (positive self-talk) and reward (acknowledge, acknowledge, acknowledge!) will teach it the new way, and then it will fight to keep you free!

You trained your horse when you learned to drive, type, ride a bike. At first you felt awkward. You didn't think it would ever feel natural, and it wouldn't have if you had given up. You had to repeat the action over and over and want the outcome. I learned to type 35 years ago. I type the letters and punctuation well and have typed the numbers a million times but never had the intention of learning to type numbers without looking, so I still have to look. I had repetition but no intention. Positive intention is critical.

When training the horse words are almost as important as actions. If you find yourself thinking you "need" a cigarettes, gently correct yourself. Choose one or more short sentences that reach you...

"I need to NOT feel this way and the only way is to not smoke. One will make it worse."

"No, not one. I'm free. Now, how do I get through this moment as painlessly as possible?"

"In ten minutes I'm going to feel like a million bucks because I lived right through this."

"A glorious, free, juicy life-yeah, I can handle this."

... Or something similar.

Your horse resists change because it thinks security (sameness) is necessary for survival. A horse will try to go back into a burning barn, if that barn was its home. Whenever you have an urge for a cigarette, recognize that your horse is trying to go back into a burning barn.

You can have opposing thoughts in horse and rider at the same time. This has been the case for as long as you have wanted to quit smoking. The rider judges, evaluates, thinks, wisely decides. But in a tug-o-war with the horse, the horse wins unless the rider has the right tools, motivation, and persistence.

YOU are the being, unique and irreplaceable, who hears the voices of both horse and rider, and then chooses how to act. To teach your horse the new way, you will need to be willing to trust your thinking, and not your feelings, for a while. Your feelings WILL catch up, and then life will be glorious, fun, and FREE!

--- (c) Jeneene L. Brengelman

Questions?

"Meditation, creative movement, moments of self-nurturance that bring contentment - all can become habits of well-being."

--- (c) Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance