Ouch! My horse just bit me.

Some time ago I named my horse Portia. Today I thought seriously of changing it to something like Elmer, since it’s been like a Clydesdale with the stubbornness of a mule. I am totally with you if your horse is acting up, trying to keep you living in the past.

(For new folks, the horse is the subconscious mind.)

Horses are wonderful, they handle flawlessly all of the things we do consistently, like breathing, digesting, going from home to work, eating. But remember this about your horse: it knows you literally inside out, and it is full of horseshit.

In a previous column I explained that horses resist change and will go back into a burning barn if that was their home. I have known this and taught this for years, and guess what? It keeps on happening. Every change is still resisted, but the good news is I know the danger is in my mind, not real. When I can shine a light on it and see it, it recedes for a while. Then the retraining can happen.

I just wish it would go faster! Benjamin Franklin was the first to disseminate the idea that it takes about 3-4 weeks to change your thinking. He routinely changed habits to prove this thesis. It’s been confirmed in studies several times. Three to four weeks. When I think how fast a year goes by that doesn’t seem like much, but when I watch a minute go by it seems like an eternity.

Affirmations help, because our mind wants to make sense of life. If we create an affirmation that reflects our intention and repeat it for a month, it becomes part of our thinking. If we don’t do this, we might make sense of the change with words that feed our fear and powerlessness. One way or another, we will make our world fit together.

"This place on the path is perfect." Years ago when I was under a lot of stress I came up with this affirmation. It always calms me. I’m writing it on post-its all over the place again. When I think those words I remember that life proceeds according to a wisdom greater than my understanding, and that I only need to figure out the next step there is to take, and then to take it.

An affirmation is simply a statement that resonates with you and empowers you. Repeat your affirmation often, even if you feel silly. Think it or say it out loud. No matter how smart you are consciously, do this for 3-4 weeks. Here are some possibilities (or make up your own!) Live passionately. I’ll do whatever it takes to be free. Not one, not negotiable. This is the mountain I have to climb. I’m superman, cigarettes are kryptonite. I can do it, and I’m worth doing it for.

*****

Almost a week has gone by. The moments of panic are fewer, with hours of calm in between. I keep the post-its, keep saying, "This Place on the Path is Perfect." Portia is my friend, I ride, and her head jerks toward the burning barn less and less often.

--- © Jeneene L. Brengelman

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