"If you will be subservient to the king, you won’t have to live on lentils." Quoth Diogenes: "If you will live on lentils, you won’t have to be subservient to the king."

I probably have a word or two wrong there, but it’s close. It is very freeing to learn the difference between wants and needs. Wants disguised as needs steal freedom, they steal the most precious thing we have to share-time. They cost too much life. They run us. Somebody once asked Henry Ford how much money would be enough for him? His answer: "All of it." There will always be a bigger and better house, car, trip, but if you feel you need the biggest and best, nothing will satisfy for long.

You already know that cigarettes and the foods that abuse you don’t satisfy for long. Learning it consciously isn't enough. What that does is make us more clever at coming up with reasons why our wants are really needs.

Let's start with the premise that whatever works for you, and doesn't hurt anybody else, is fine. No need to give a thought to fixing my compulsion to own every color of paint that comes out in a 2-oz, 99 cent bottle. I always have a very real reason why I need that color, and even I know it's nuts. So what?

Don’t sweat the small stuff, but if turning wants into needs hurts you, it would be a good idea to get some power back. Like every other lasting change, it will be done in tiny steps, and often they will appear to be backward. Learn like you learned every time you fell off the bike, and know that every experience is part of the learning, even the ones that don't seem to be.

If you're out of the woods about smoking, you might be overeating fatty foods or spending too much. You might have gotten so very clever that you are certain this doesn't apply to you, you really do need whatever it is that is hurting you.

Does it hurt you physically or financially? Does it make you worried or scared? Does it steal your play time? Does it keep you distant from the people you love? Have you broken your word to keep on doing it? If any answer is yes, you are squandering your freedom and hurting your soul.

You'll need to re-direct the most power-enhancing tool you possess - words. The problem isn’t the words you hear yourself use, it’s the words you tell yourself when you aren’t paying attention. The words your horse believes. That’s why you still act that way even when for years you’ve known it hurts you.

This week, shine a light on your "needs." Listen to the words you use when you justify working too much, eating too much, smoking. Don’t judge, listen. We live in the non-suffering section, remember? It might be helpful to smile at the absurdity of your reasoning.

Next week: You CAN get there from here.

If you're interested in the Quit Kit which includes a tape, book, and toys at the rock-bottom PNN price of $15 plus $3 shipping, e-mail me for ordering information.

"Quiet your mind. Rope in the restlessness. Be here. Learn to labor. Learn to wait. Learn to wait expectantly."