ValueSpeak
A Weekly Column
By Joseph Walker
THE
WORLD ACCORDING TO OPIE
An open letter to Sheriff Andy Taylor,
You may not remember me. I wrote
to you about 28 years ago when your TV program, “The Andy Griffith Show,” was
popular to tell you why your son Opie’s back pockets
used to always smell kind of fishy. And
then I wrote again about a year later to ask how there got to be so many people
in Mayberry if nobody in the whole town – so far as I could tell – was married.
Yeah, that was me. And I’m back.
But don’t worry. I’m not really
concerned about those things any more.
I’ve got a more pressing question in mind right now, and I think you’re
just the person to answer it.
What in heaven’s name is going on?
It’s not like I hold you responsible or anything. As near as I can tell, everything was OK back
when you were in charge. That’s the
problem. You left (I hear you became a
lawyer – say it ain’t so!) and now look at us.
It’s like the Gubers and Gomers
of the world have taken over, only they’re not just running the filling
stations – you know what I mean?
You want specifics?
OK – but you’re not going to believe some of this stuff.
Like, for example, religion. You
know how you used to be a little suspicious of anyone who didn’t go to church
every week? Well, these days it’s the
other way around. If you happen to
mention to someone that you’re a regular church-goer,
they figure there’s something wrong with you or that you’re up to something –
usually no good.
There are probably a lot of reasons for the change in attitude. We’ve had more than our share of wolves in
shepherd’s clothing. And the media, which
almost never reports the good things churches are doing in the world, almost
never misses a chance to tell people when active church members go bad (even
though you never read that a crime was committed by “John Doe, who hasn’t
stepped inside a church in 30 years”).
The American family has also changed quite a bit – and not just because
the kids are wearing their baseball caps sideways. The change here has less to do with
appearances and more to do with how the family itself works – or doesn’t work, as
the case may be. Many parents have
abdicated their responsibilities in the home.
They lay the blame for drug abuse on society’s doorstep. Teen pregnancy, they say, can be traced to
deficiencies in the educational system.
And if a teenager is overweight, it’s television’s fault.
All of which reminds me of how you handled it when Opie
killed that mamma bird. Remember? You didn’t blame Howard Sprague or Helen Krump or even Barney Fife, who got blamed for just about
everything. You just took it upon yourself
to teach Opie right and wrong even though you were a
single parent and a busy working professional.
And look how well little Opie turned out, and
what a positive influence he was on that Fonzie
fellow later on in his life.
Don’t get me wrong. There are
some terrific parents who are doing some great work. But the hectic pace of modern life, and the
varied (and yes, sometimes selfish) interests of some parents have resulted in
a de-emphasis of the family as an influential, causative American institution. In your day everyone pretty much agreed that
the family was the basic unit of society.
Today that distinction probably goes to the movie rental store.
And I haven’t even mentioned the plague of drug abuse. Or AIDS. Or what’s been going on in the entertainment
industry. On the bright side, has anyone
told you that Communism is dead and the Berlin Wall came down slicker than if
it had been put up with Velcro?
Uh . . . I’ll have to explain Velcro to you some other time.
It’s a new world, one that takes some getting used to even for those of
us who have been here living in it all along.
While some things have become easier with time, others have become much
more difficult. But we’re gong to keep
trying. That’s what you’d tell Opie. You’d say,
“Don’t give up! Be true to
yourself! Be a good neighbor!” And then you’d go fishing.
So even though it sounds like a pretty simplistic approach to
complicated problems and social issues, I’m going to follow your advice –
fictional though you may be. I’m not
going to give up. I’m going to be true
to myself and to what I believe. And I’m
going to try to be a good neighbor. The
way I see it, what’s good enough for Opie is good
enough for me.
Except for one thing: can I carry my fish someplace else besides my back
pocket?