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Misty and Fuzzy Tales

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SFPNN is on summer holiday as of May 28th and will return to regular e-mail distribution on September 10th, 2012.
In the meantime, visit SFPNN on Facebook where our authors are posting new material frequently:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/SFPNN/285575964618


SFPNN Featured Author:

Jeanette M. Pintar, Inspired by Misty

 Reflections of A Zen Master

&

Fuzzy Tales

For recent REFLECTIONS OF A ZEN MASTER, click Here

For recent FUZZY TALES, click Here

For CATTITUDES & OTHER COOL STUFF, click Here

 

 

Misty

Inspiration for 
REFLECTIONS Of A ZEN MASTER

 

Misty was a beautiful emerald-eyed tabby cat that came into our lives unexpectedly and taught us many lessons in which I hope to share.   My husband and I always joked that she was our little Zen Master as she would bask in the afternoon sunlight and find peace during the most chaotic days.

Reflections of a Zen Master appeared in SFPNN until the 1st anniversary of Misty's Soul Graduation.  

Misty came into our lives in 1992.  Her eyes penetrated deep into my soul before I ever knew that she would become an important part of our family for the next nine years.  During that time, both Misty and I grew... in trust, faith, love, and over-coming our fears.  She became a vital part of our lives - and our hearts.


Misty's soul graduated on March 17th, 2001.  Even in her death, she gave us many gifts of joy and continued to help us grow. We have no doubt that she was - and is - a tiny angel whose purpose was to teach us how to love unconditionally and bask in the glory of each moment.

As I reflected on the many ways Misty had changed our hearts,  I became even more aware of the lessons this furry faced little Zen Master had taught us.  I hope to share these lessons with you... both to honor Misty and to share the sense of fulfillment and joy that has come from her knowledge.

For more about the story of Misty's life and her transition, please read Misty's Miracle in either the Soul Magic section of SFPNN or below in Fuzzy Tales. (Click the title for a quick link.)  There were many more miracles than we could possibly include but we know beyond a doubt that our lives were touched by an angel... and continue to be.


"Love unconditionally and bask in the glory and joy of each moment."

--- © Inspired by Misty

 

 

You can write to Jeanette with your comments, ideas, and questions at:

JMP@sfpnn.com

 

 

 

 

 


Reflections of A Zen Master

The following Reflections of a  Zen Master  have appeared in SFPNN.

03/12/02

 

Angels Come in All Shapes and Sizes

03/05/02

 

Open Your Senses and Sniff The Wind

02/26/02

 

A Little Sauce Goes A Long Way

02/19/02

 

Try Something New

02/12/02

 

Express Love

02/05/02

 

It's OK To Receive Help

01/29/02

 

Move Past Your Fears and Party

01/22/02

 

Respect Boundaries

01/15/02

 

Learn The Languages of Love

01/08/02

 

Open Your Heart To Open Your World

12/18/01

 

Give Thanks for Real-Life Angels

12/11/01

 

Give The Gift of Touch

12/04/01

 

"Paws" For The Moment

11/27/01

 

Everyone Needs Something Warm and Fuzzy

11/20/01

 

The Rough Times Are Better With Friends

11/13/01

 

Turn Your Home Into Your Castle

11/06/01

 

Be Your Own Hero

10/30/01

 

Explore The Unknown When Possible

10/23/01

 

Forgive First, Learn To Forget Later

10/16/01

 

Just Be There

10/09/01

 

Some Days You're The Cat,
Some Days You're The Mouse!

10/02/01

 

Turn Your Trash Into Something Worthwhile

09/25/01

 

Stretch Your Body, Stretch Your Mind

09/18/01

 

When You find Something You Like, Claim It!

09/11/01

 

Stop and Smell The Hyacinths

09/04/01

 

Change Your Fears, Not Others

08/28/01

 

Everybody Needs Their Own Special Space

08/21/01

 

When You're Up a Tree, Take a Good Look Around
And Grab a Lizard!

08/14/01

 

When You Need A Time Out,
It's OK To Hide Under The Covers.

08/07/01

 

Let People (And Animals) Know You Miss Them

07/31/01

 

No Moment Is Ever Wasted

07/24/01

 

Pay No Attention To Minor Irritations
(Like Cockatiels.)

07/17/01

 

Turn The Ordinary Into The Sacred

07/10/01

 

Love Can Be Scary,
But Sometimes It's Worth The Risk

07/03/01

 

Sometimes You Gotta Go Out On A Ledge

06/26/01

 

When You Get The Chance To Swing In A Hammock, Take It!

06/19/01

 

Act Humble, But Be The Goddess You Are

06/12/01

 

Sometimes We Fear That Which Is Best For Us

06/05/01

 

If You're Happy, Show It!

05/29/01

 

Not Now Does Not Mean Not Ever!

05/22/01

 

Recognize Your Masters.

05/15/01

 

Every Day Offers the Perfect Opportunity
To Nap and Refresh Yourself.

05/08/01

 

Time Does Not Heal All Wounds.
Working Through Them Does.

05/01/01

 

Trusting Takes Courage.
Courage Requires Trust.

04/24/01

 

We're All Students.  We're All Teachers.

 


 

 


Fuzzy Tales of our Furry, Feathered, and Finned Friends  

Do you have a tale to share about one of your favorite fuzzy (or feathered, finned, or even scaly) friends?  Pets and animals are teachers of a very special kind.  They're also friends, soul mates, comedians, and for many, the first truly recognizable source of unconditional love on earth.  Send your story to sfpnn@sfpnn.com with the words FUZZY TALES in the subject and we'll post it below to share with others.  Include a photo if you'd like, but please send it in either .jpg or .gif format.  Thanks!  And here's to our Fuzzy Friends!

 

 




Fuzzy Tales

The following 2012 fuzzy tales  are from our SFPNNers.

05/15/12

 

Tsunami – by Faith O’Heron

05/01/12

 

Elephants Reunited After 20 Years

04/17/12

 

Hippo Adopts 100 Year Old Tortoise as “Mom”

04/03/12

 

Ming Toi and Her Toy Mice

03/20/12

 

Dolphin Rescue

03/06/12

 

If I Didn’t Have a Cat or a Dog

02/21/12

 

Mysterious Ways – by Joseph J. Mazzella

02/07/12

 

The Angeldog – by David McLaughlan




 




Fuzzy Tales

The following 2011 fuzzy tales  are from our SFPNNers.

05/03/11

 

Unlikely Love Birds - From CBS News
Thanks to Susanne H.

04/19/11

 

Eagle Cam!

04/05/11

 

Midnight the Horse Gets a New Leg Up on Life - Thanks to ABC7

03/22/11

 

Where Do All the Birds Go? - by Jeanette M. Pintar

03/08/11

 

Molly B the Cow Escapes Again!

03/01/11

 

Dolphin Reunion - thanks to ABC7

02/08/11

 

Mission Impossible Squirrel - Thanks to Chuck S.

01/25/11

 

My Baby Humming Bird - by Kandwarf
Thanks to Elizabeth

 

 

 

 

Fuzzy Tales

The following 2010 fuzzy tales  are from our SFPNNers.

11/16/10

 

Unlikely Friends or Lovers - by Carole Devecka

11/02/10

 

Jacques The Party Animal - by Carrol Mills

10/19/10

 

Take The Hint, Muffin! - by David McLaughlan

10/05/10

 

Moose in Sprinkler - Thanks to Chuck S.

09/21/10

 

Dog Dances Merenque - Thanks to Chuck S.

05/25/10

 

Rare Pink Dolphin - Thanks to Ellie Braun-Haley

05/11/10

 

Jessica the Happy Hippo - from Sky News,
Thanks to Elizabeth S.

04/27/10

 

Stacy Westfall and Whizard's Baby Doll - Thanks to Chuck S.

04/13/10

 

Lessons From a One-Eye Dove - by Jeanette M. Pintar

03/30/10

 

Dogs in Snow - by DogWork.com,
Thanks to Chuck S.

03/16/10

 

Max - by Gloria Moore

03/09/10

 

Wolf Wisdom - by Colette Duvall

03/02/10

 

World's Best Home Security System - Thanks to Aunt Bette

02/16/10

 

Double-Speed Wags - by Kathleene S. Baker

02/02/10

 

The Whale Said Thank You -Thanks to Sunnie T.

01/19/10

 

I Rescued a Human Today - Thanks to Lynda H.


 

 

Fuzzy Tales

The following 2009 fuzzy tales  are true life stories from our SFPNNers.

12/08/09

 

Diddly's Christmas Angel - by Mark Crider

11/24/09

 

She Changed Our Lives -- And Hearts -- Forever - by JMP

11/17/09

 

Nature's Air Show - by David McLaughlan

11/10/09

 

When Highlanders Get Bored With Their Sheep
 -- Thanks to Tom R. Oh!

11/03/09

 

What Do We See in Them? - by JMP

10/27/09

 

Head Dunking Cat - Thanks to Karyn N.

10/20/09

 

Dog Nurses Kittens - Thanks to Chuck S. and Rev. Jim L.

10/13/09

 

The Orangutan and the Hound - by National Geographic
Thanks to Sunnie T.

10/06/09

 

A Man and His Dog - by David McLaughlan

09/29/09

 

Gentle Ben - by Joseph Walker

09/22/09

 

Take the HSUS Pledge to Adopt Shelter Animals

09/15/09

 

Give a Squirrel a Helping Hand - Thanks to Chuck S.

05/19/09

 

Falcon Cam is Back! - Thanks to Nancy L.

05/04/09

 

The Side-Kick -by David McLaughlan

04/28/09

 

With a Little Faith

04/21/09

 

Morning Surprise - by Diane The California Dreamer

04/14/09

 

Finnegan the Squirrel Adopted by a Dog

04/07/09

 

Jasmine, the Mother Theresa Greyhound

03/31/09

 

Birth of a Masai Giraffe - thanks to Sunnie T.

03/24/09

 

Fawn and Kitten: What a Wonderful World - by Saks61

03/17/09

 

A Butterfly Lesson - by David McLaughlan

03/10/09

 

Being a Daddy - by David McLaughlan

03/03/09

 

At My Command - by David McLaughlan

02/24/09

 

The Ice Pond - by David McLaughlan

02/17/09

 

Puppy Love - by David McLaughlan

02/10/09

 

Dolphin Stampede - by rgraening

02/03/09

 

Unlikely Friends -- by Steve Hartman of CBS Evening News

01/27/09

 

Chimp Adopts Tiger Cubs

01/20/09

 

Here's Why We Should Volunteer -- by Lisa Scherer


 

 

 

 

Fuzzy Tales

The following 2008 fuzzy tales  are true life stories from our SFPNNers.

12/09/08

 

Patches -by Nancy J. Leslie

12/02/08

 

Learning Zen from a Snaggle-Toothed Tiger

11/04/08

 

AN EYE ON YOU: Cashew and Libby - by Terry Burns

10/28/08

 

Mary's Lucky Dog

10/21/08

 

The Very Best "BFF" - by Jon D. Newbill

10/14/08

 

We All Have Jobs to Do - by Carole Devecka

10/07/08

 

Chris-T-Fur - by Michael T. Smith

09/30/08

 

The Cormorant - by David McLaughlan

09/23/08

 

Cody-Joe - by Michael T. Smith

09/18/08

 

Molly: One Smart Pony - Thanks to Carole D.

09/09/08

 

Chopper - by Michael T. Smith

05/20/08

 

An Engineer's Guide to Cats - Thanks to Diane

05/20/08

 

Opening to Divine (and Feline) Directives - by Jeanette M. Pintar

05/13/08

 

Pyramid of Friends - by Michael T. Smith

05/06/08

 

Falcon Watch - by Nancy Leslie

04/29/08

 

Tippy - by Michael T. Smith

04/22/08

 

Freedom and Jeff: A Circle of Healing

04/15/08

 

I'm a Skunk - by Michael T. Smith

04/01/08

 

Blackie - by Michael T. Smith

03/25/08

 

Love in the Highest Meow - by Jeanette M. Pintar

03/18/08

 

Feathered Trust - by Michael T. Smith

03/11/08

 

The Cat and The Crow - thanks to Lynda H.

02/26/08

 

Princess - by Michael T. Smith

02/19/08

 

Eagles Soaring - by Ellie Braun-Haley

01/29/08

 

Wallaby Day - Thanks to Robin

 

 

 

 

Fuzzy Tales

 The following 2007 fuzzy tales  are true life stories from our SFPNNers.

11/27/07

 

Puppy Size

11/20/07

 

Close En-condors of the Bird Kind - by Jeanette M. Pintar

10/16/07

 

Be the Dog - by Dr. Dennis Merritt Jones

10/09/07

 

Deer... They Make My Day  - by Patty

09/18/07

 

Wanted:  Human to Love

09/11/07

 

A Forever Home Foster Pup Care - by Lisa and Debbie

05/22/07

 

A Fish Tale - Thanks to Frank R.

05/15/07

 

A Big Surprise! - by Nancy Leslie

05/08/07

 

Laser, the Therapist - by Nancy Kucik

05/01/07

 

Chat Line Helps Deaf Dolphin's Calf

04/24/07

 

For Knut - by Kathy Pippig Harris

04/10/07

 

Bald Eagle Chicks Hatch on Catalina Island

03/27/07

 

A Fuzzy Tales Request

03/20/07

 

Link to Nora, The Piano Playing Cat -
Thanks to Diane, The California Dreamer

02/20/07

 

Two Horses - Thanks to Bob B.

02/06/07

 

An Accounting of Love -
by Kathy Pippig Harris

01/30/07

 

Booka Survives! - by Jessica




 


 




 

Fuzzy Tales


The following 2006 fuzzy tales  are true life stories from our SFPNNers.

12/12/06

 

Sadie's Christmas Angel

12/05/06

 

Moosie

11/28/06

 

Saying "I LOVE YOU" Without Speaking a Word

10/24/06

 

Sweet Dear Old Bob

10/17/06

 

Put to Life

10/03/06

 

Butterfly Surprise

09/26/06

 

A Message from Rex

09/19/06

 

Rescue an Angel

09/12/06

 

Canine Angel in Disguise

05/23/06

 

Surrogate Mum

05/09/06

 

Our Own Lake Monster — Whippi

04/25/06

 

Hello, Kitties

03/21/06

 

Five Years Ago

03/14/06

 

Yu's Visit

03/07/06

 

Attack of the Nigh Monster

01/24/06

 

The Catopractor is In!

01/17/06

 

Yoga Cats


 


 

 

 

Fuzzy Tales


The following 2005 fuzzy tales  are true life stories from our SFPNNers.

12/13/05

 

A Documentary Movie - Na Nai'a: The Dolphins

11/08/05

 

Wild About Animals

10/25/05

 

Bathed in Tears

10/18/05

 

Letting Your Soul Walk You

10/11/05

 

Whiskers

10/04/05

 

Sheba, The Watch Cat

09/27/05

 

She Cannot Say Good-Bye

05/24/05

 

Big Teddy Cried

05/17/05

 

Look What I've Got!

05/10/05

 

One Apple at a Time

05/03/05

 

On and On

04/26/05

 

Doctor PB

04/19/05

 

IN MEMORY OF OUR DEAR ONES:
Peanut Butter, Blackie, Sugar, and Sweetie

04/12/05

 

My Angel, Yu

04/05/05

 

Finding a Forever Home

03/22/05

 

Surprise Visit

03/15/05

 

Recognizing Unconditional Love

03/08/05

 

Shiloh's Social Call

02/08/05

 

For Snuffy, My Pound Puppy

02/01/05

 

Making a Difference

01/18/05

 

Try Another Door


 


 

 


Fuzzy Tales


The following 2004 fuzzy tales  are true life stories from our SFPNNers.

12/21/04

 

An Ornament for Christmas

12/14/04

 

Picture Purrrfect?

11/30/04

 

Rasky's Story

11/23/04

 

Bella and Hogan:
An Endeering Relationship

11/16/04

 

A Surprise Guest

11/09/04

 

Miracle Pets: Scarlet's Story

10/12/04

 

New and Deer Friends

10/05/04

 

A Humdinger of a Day

05/24/04

 

A Feline Whale Rider?

05/18/04

 

Toadal Surprise

05/11/04

 

A Real Life Whale Tale

05/04/04

 

Holly and Angel

04/20/04

 

Frogs!

04/13/04

 

A Tribute to K.C.

03/30/04

 

Maggie: The Love of My Life

03/16/04

 

Dolphins and A Whale of a Time

03/02/04

 

The Dancing Frogs

01/13/04

 

AAAWWWE...

01/06/04

 

Bingo and the Great Cookie Caper

 


 


 


Fuzzy Tales


The following 2003 fuzzy tales  are true life stories from our SFPNNers.

12/16/03

 

A Friend Like Ben

11/25/03

 

Pumpkin's Heart:  Some Positive Reinforcement

11/18/03

 

Bunny Eggs

11/11/03

 

Jordyn's Special Mission

11/04/03

 

Rackey

10/21/03

 

Tar Baby

09/09/03

 

A Loving Meow

09/02/03

 

The Hummies

06/04/03

 

Miss Elle

04/22/03

 

Ottno

04/15/03

 

CAPTAIN MOKE:
A Good Boy, A Gift of God, and My Best Friend

04/08/03

 

Letting Go of Gilda

04/01/03

 

Jane's Special Request

03/25/03

 

BOB - The ONE

01/14/03

 

Molly

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fuzzy Tales

The following 2002 fuzzy tales  are true life stories from our SFPNNers.

10/22/02

 

Through The Eyes of A Cat!

10/15/02

 

Surprise!

10/08/02

 

Oh Boy!  A Bunny and A Brushing!

10/01/02

 

A Waddle In The Park

09/24/02

 

Tiggie's Night Out -- And His Safe Return

09/17/02

 

'Nando, Darling

08/26/02

 

Not Alone: A Confirmation of Spirit

08/20/02

 

Gracie

08/13/02

 

Rosie's Healing Purr

08/06/02

 

My Kids

07/30/02

 

Overcoming The Fear of Love

07/23/02

 

Curiosity Enlivens The Cats

07/16/02

 

A Rainy Day Hello

07/09/02

 

B.J.'s Story - by Shell

07/02/02

 

Midnight - by Shell

06/25/02

 

A Singing Telegram From Misty

06/18/02

 

A Little Loving Reassurance Goes A Long Way

06/11/02

 

Mewsic To My Ears

06/04/02

 

The Great Escape

05/21/02

 

Move Over Prozac, Introducing Purrzac!

05/14/02

 

Scooter

05/07/02

 

Where There's a Will, There's a Way
(Watch Out! That Box is Loaded!)

04/30/02

 

Hip-Nose-Is Therapy

04/23/02

 

Pets Reflect Their Humans

04/16/02

 

A Hairried Work Out?

04/09/02

 

Tigerini, The Feline Escape Artist

04/02/02

 

The Mysteriously Befuddled Plant

03/25/02

 

Dog Letters To God

03/19/02

 

At My Side

01/17/02

 

Extending Her Heart From Heaven

 

 

 



Fuzzy Tales

The following 2001 fuzzy tales  are true life stories from our SFPNNers .

11/27/01

 

Farrah to The Rescue!

11/20/01

 

Purrrfect Contentment

11/13/01

 

Farrah - My Fuzzy Tail

10/23/01

 

The F.R.B.L.O.
(Feline Rubber Band Liberation Organization)

09/25/01

 

Hello, Misty Blue

09/11/01

 

Dolphins

09/04/01

 

Farrah My Dog

08/28/01

 

Recipe For Your Cat's Happiness

08/14/01


I Want To Know What Love Is

07/24/01

 

Out of Sight But Not Out of Mind or Heart

06/26/01


Momma Duck's Heart-a-Quack

06/19/01

 

Rocky:  The New Dog That Taught An Old Gal A Few Tips

06/11/01


Phoebe's Gift

05/29/01

 

How Cookie Saved Our Lives!

05/15/01


A Real Sweetie

05/08/01

 

Charlie The Super Dog

05/01/01


Rosie, The Dog-Loving Cat

04/24/01

 

A House Full of Love

04/23/01


Misty's Miracle

 

 

 



Cattitudes, Cat Laws and Other Cool Stuff

A True Cattitude:






>^.^< FELINE PHYSICS >^.^<

Thanks to
RudeKat@aol.com of Kat Mail and to Diane for this Submission
If you'd like to sign up for Kat Mail, please e-mail Kat at
RudeKat@aol.com

Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest,
unless acted upon by some outside force ...
such as the opening of cat food,
or a nearby scurrying mouse.
>^.^<
Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line,
unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
>^.^<
Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair
in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
>^.^<
Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body,
except in the case of a cat,
in which case all heat flows to the cat.
>^.^<
Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the
length of the nap just taken.
>^.^<
Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible,
in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved,
and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
>^.^<
Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach
just about any counter top that has
anything remotely interesting on it.
>^.^<
Law of Cat Obstruction
A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct
the maximum amount of human foot traffic.
>^.^<
Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate,
until he gets good and ready to stop.
>^.^<
Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
>^.^<
Law of Rug Configuration

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
>^.^<
Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's
desire for her to do something.
>^.^<
First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed
and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
>^.^<
Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy
can only be stored by a lot of napping.
>^.^<
Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough,
someone will come along
and take out something good to eat.
>^.^<
Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket
and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
>^.^<
Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over,
the most comfortable spot in any given room.
>^.^<
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat
within the earliest possible nanosecond.
>^.^<
Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her
embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
>^.^<
Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared,
just to show you he can.
>^.^<
Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional
to the cost of the furniture.
>^.^<
Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible;
often the midsection of an unsuspecting, reclining human.
>^.^<
Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume,
minus the amount of milk consumed.
>^.^<
Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the
amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
>^.^<
Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy
to reach escape velocity.
>^.^<
Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of
Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

>^.^<
BONUS - Thanks to Ed Spina

The Harvard Law of Cat Behavior
Under precisely controlled experimental conditions,
a cat will behave as it darn well pleases.



J*.*J  DOGS vs CATS >^.^<


A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me.....
They
must be gods
.

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me..... 
I must be a god.

 

What is a Cat?

1) Cats do what they want.
2 ) They rarely listen to you.
3) They're totally unpredictable.
4) They whine when they are not happy.
5) When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7) They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8) They're moody.
9) They leave hair everywhere.
10) They drive you nuts and cost you money.

Conclusion: They're tiny little women in fur coats.

 

What is a Dog?

1) Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2) They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3) They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4) They growl when they are not happy.
5) When you want to play, they want to play.
6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7) They are great at begging.
8) They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
9) They can never have enough toys and they leave them everywhere.
10) They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a
kiss.

Conclusion: They're tiny little men in fur coats

 

 

STRICT CAT RULES

 

1. Stray cats will not be fed.

2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.

4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish.

5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.

6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.

7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up, and cuddled absolutely will not be given a name.

8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.

9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.

10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "y."

11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

 


Signs Your Cat Is Getting Old


---
Thanks to Diane, The California Dreamer

Goes from 22 hours of happy-go-lucky, kittenish sleep per day 
to 21 hours of restless, fitful sleep per day.

Tries to cash in her 8th life insurance policy for a kilo of catnip.

Last year: Went a-courtin' carrying a "pencil full o' lead."
This year: Goes a-courtin' carrying a 9 Lives tuna casserole.

Complains non-stop about the "bankrupt moral values of kittens these days."

Trades his Whiskas for prune-flavored Whippasnappas.

Instead of shredding your drapes herself, she sub-contracts the job.

Stops leaving dead mice on doormats; starts leaving bingo cards.

Spends all day on the front porch, 
yelling at the squirrels to get the heck out of his yard.

Occasionally forgets to ignore you.

Has to drink a whole bottle of Rogaine just to cough up one hairball.

While his younger friends are out chasing mice, 
he claims a moral victory in catching the elusive dust bunny.