I had the blessing of doing an internship at St. Vincent’s Hospital in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I was just a student but I was often mistaken as a doctor by many visitors because I was older than other students and my six foot four inch frame in a white coat with the stethoscope gave an appearance that I knew what I was doing. It was truly a learning experience. Every time I would switch from one area of treatment to another I would mentally affirm that it would be my life’s choice.

Looking back I can only smile and realize how naive I had been. For example: I practically lived with a wonderful mother to be. Annette was a Spanish-American who’s husband, Tony, was permitting me to escort her through all her medical procedures including the delivery room. I was with her through all prenatal procedures and advised her on doing all the right things, including a healthful diet. During Annette’s labor I held her hand and helped her breathe and relax. Tony gave me his blessings because he simply could not handle being there. He also could not be at the delivery, so I was able to assist in the birth of his son, an angelic seven and a half pound boy! The tradition that Tony and Annette followed was that his son would be named by the uncle, Tony’s brother Jorge. At the time of the naming the day after the birth I was with the family. Jorge blessed me with the title of godfather and he proceeded to name the baby Antonio after his father. I of course continued to follow Antonio through the postnatal period after he returned home with his mother.

My presence at the nursery naturally led to my internship there. I soon found myself routinely at the Internal Care Unit of the Nursery. Amid the preemies that I attended to there was this beautiful angel that looked like a tiny rosebud. She had not been named as yet, and as I looked at her frail little body, no bigger than my balled up hand, with tubes and all the life support systems connected to her, she emitted a rosey glow. I called her Rosebud, and soon found that I was at her side more than any other in the ICU.

A few days of caring for her the doctor in charge came to me to tell me that her parents asked that she be taken off of all life supports, and that they could not withstand the pain by being with her. In fact, I don't think they had seen her at all while I was there. I was to stay with her through it all. There was nothing I could say. As I looked down at her with tears in my eyes I just shook my head and whispered a yes.

When she was unhooked from all of the machines and I Vs I held her in my arms. I could feel her being ness. Her glow was dimming. I held her close to my heart, gently, and prayed with my eyes shut tightly. When I opened them there seemed to be a tender smile looking back at me although her eyes were closed. And as her spirit ascended I felt that it hesitated a mere second or two, and then I knew.

I knew that what I felt was a tiny angel being called home.