Gene is a friend that I knew from my prison ministry. He had spent about twenty-four years in the penitentiary at Pittsburgh on a life sentence for having been involved in the unintentional death of a person during a commission of a felony. His partners had been found not guilty of the crime even tho they had been more directly involved than Gene.

After twenty years, the loss of a lung, and multiple problems of aging, Gene had accepted his fate of never being free. Every time he asked for a commutation of sentence from the Board of Pardons he was turned down. The family of the murdered victim was always at the hearings. The victim’s son, in a wheel chair as a result of the failed robbery twenty-four years before, was a major factor in preventing Gene’s commutation.

I talked with Gene about his case. I noticed that he hung on to a lot of anger. His partners were free. He felt he was the scapegoat. His anger projected itself around him. He was able to help a lot of young men who went through the prison by sharing his experiences as an ex-drug addict. In fact, I know that he was a major factor in helping to change lives, but he had one outstanding problem. He could not forgive himself. His participation in the crime that resulted in the death of an innocent person was something that he couldn’t let go of. He felt guilty. And he couldn’t forgive himself.

I talked with Gene for several months about forgiveness and then I let it go. One day I met with him just after he had gotten out of church services. He told me that the priest had talked about forgiveness. It was about forgiving someone seventy times seventy. Jesus had said to His Father: "Forgive them for they know not what they do." Somehow it finally got thru to him that forgiveness was the key. And he told me how he had gone to a guy in the prison who was known as being a "snitch" and having made amends for having slapped the "snitch" for what Gene considered as an action that could not be forgiven.

Miracles occur daily. When they do not, then something has gone wrong. I had the honor of presenting part of Gene’s case at his next hearing. I met the victim’s son in his wheel chair at the hearing and I could see his unforgiveness in his face, in his body, in his being the victim. The Board of Pardons could somehow see that it was time to change the same old record. And they did. When Gene learned that the Board of Pardons had commuted his sentence, he knew what it was all about. "It’s a miracle’" he said. Yeah, it is. And that’s what it’s all about.

What I learned from the encounter with Gene is that forgiveness is why I am here. It’s as close as I can get to being home with my Father in this world. I have been able to choose forgiveness more as a result. I forgive my mother, whom I have never seen, for putting me up for adoption. I forgive all that I think was done to me. I no longer believe that people who are not with me are against me. I have learned the humble lesson that I forgive others so I may learn to forgive myself for all of the things I think I have done. In the process, I view the world as peaceful, in spite of all my projections upon it. It’s not easy to believe that forgiveness ends all suffering and loss. If forgiveness were accepted by all of us, "The world becomes a place of joy, abundance, charity, and endless giving." (ACIM)

What a wonderful world this would be.

--- © Ray Hart